I’ll be honest. I have NEVER had an online date. Nope…no Match.Com, E-harmony, Swinging Singles (I made that up), Meetups for people looking for sex (I didn’t make that up). Why, you may ask? It’s a lot of work! Things like… a guy put law enforcement on his profile and his job is mall security, a woman is 50 years old and has her high school picture on her profile, or the picture on the profile is only half the actual person you meet (lbs).
I promise I will go online this year and report date by date what actually happens. Promise me you won’t tell anyone my plan.
Until I do I will be getting my stories from online dating specialists… women and men who have been doing this for several years.
Meet Natalia….a lovely 50 something woman. She connected with a fabulous man online. The only drawback it seemed was distance. They had a wonderful online connection and he said that he knew it was a longshot, but he had two sought-after Eric Clapton tickets for the following Saturday evening at Madison Square Garden.
Natalia wasn’t in the habit of going out-of-state for her dates. She was careful and did a background check (having a friend who worked for the same company as he). She also polled a few of her closest friends (I was one of them).
We figured as long as she stayed at a secure hotel by herself, not at his place, she should “go for it.” They talked during the week and he said that he would drive by the hotels and check them out to make sure of availability and how suitable they would be. He was all for her not staying with him. Seriously, it was a gamble for him too. Totally understandable. After all, she could have been a little freaky. He even asked her if it was ok to meet in the lobby of her hotel. Natalia was thinking she hit the lottery with this gentleman.
She drove to New York City and arrived late afternoon. She checked in and he picked her up in the lobby as planned. They went to dinner and he insisted on paying. She was thinking.. this is the kind of man I have been wanting to meet. The conversation flowed effortlessly. He pulled out her chair, ordered the wine, they laughed…..
The Eric Clapton concert was excellent, seats were spectacular. She was on her dream date. They jumped in a cab and she was thinking that this was one of the best evenings she had in a long time. They drove around the city and he was being the absolute best “tour guide” pointing out all the historical landmarks around the city.
Then, he asked her “Would you like to see the Hudson River?” “From where?” she asked. “From my place,” he said. She got a little nervous and said, “I really don’t feel comfortable with that on the first date. I thought we both understood that.”
Well, I guess not. He immediately turned and told the cab driver to take her to her hotel. The conversation went dead. It was OVER. Natalia was thinking, “what the hell just happened?” “We had such a wonderful connection and clearly enjoyed each other,” and was thinking how much fun they could have if they continued dating. Never did she think that he had any expectations of sex on the first date. It was a shock!!
She got to her hotel and felt very angry. She texted him , “You should have told me that was your expectation, I would not have wasted your time and money.” He did not respond.
Amazing….so no sex translates into no friendship, no dating?
Did this mean that was all he was interested in? Did his ego get in the way? Was he just a player disguised as a gentleman?
After every date that followed, the standard question from all her friends has been, “So, did you see the Hudson River last night?”
That’s why we have friends… they keep us afloat :).
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