Ten Ways To Spot A Player…A Man’s Perspective On Dating

A woman over 50 has illusions of finding a wonderful man with whom to share dinner, theatre and dancing.  A man over 50 has illusions of finding a woman to have  sex with.  I must admit this was the stereotype that I had cast based upon stories and observations.

Last year, I shared my life with a very kind, handsome, man with some brilliant insights on dating at any age, and an incredible sense of humor.  He changed my perspective on dating.  From his stories came a significant revelation about the way players approach women, things they would say, what they were looking for and the time this would take place.

Ten Ways To Spot A Player

1. The Bartenders and everyone in the place know him.  Naive women think, everyone knows him… he must be very important.  Actually, he is there several nights a week and with different women.
2. A player will try to maneuver you immediately to get you isolated and will suggest that you go somewhere where it is quieter.
3. Players don’t have the patience to court you…they want to have sex on the first or second night.
4. He will flatter you excessively about how young and beautiful you are.
5. He throws his money around…tips heavily and does not do it with discretion.
6. A player will tell you an off-color joke, using bad language to see how you react to profanity.  His goal is finding out how loose you are.
7. Players love being validated.  They want their friends to see you (really see them).  They will take you to restaurants where their friends are because they want to be seen with someone new.
8. Be very careful of guys who only ask you out on Friday nights.  Saturday night is date night …they may be saving Saturday night for another woman.
9. You receive calls and texts from him late at night to tell you how busy he’s been and how much he misses you. (recognize these for what they are…booty calls!)
10. Married players have limited availability, they have to leave earlier than their single counterparts.  Be sure to check for the telltale indentation or lack of tan on his ring finger. (If you like to enter restaurants through the back door and the kitchen, sit at a secluded table in the back of the room, and have dinner at 4:00 pm, he’s your guy!)

The most important thing to remember is “nice men do nice things.”  The best time to meet a really nice man at a bar is between 5:30 pm and 8:00 pm.  Most men that you  find have just left the office and stopped for a drink before continuing on to their full lives.

If you are at bars from 11:00 pm to 1:00 pm you probably will meet a lot of players who are looking for a hookup and not a serious relationship.  I can personally attest to this.

One evening at a very fine restaurant/bar, at 10:30 pm, I was putting on my coat, and a man (in a beautiful suit) said to me “You’re not leaving?”  I said, “Yes I am.”  He said “Well, I’m not leaving until I get laid!”  I was thinking, “Did he just say Aids or laid, because he just might get both!

This quote has been modified over the years and can be applied to dating.

“If you roll around in the mud with a pig,
the only one that is going to have fun is the pig!”

My sermon has ended.  Go in peace.