“Jumping from rooftop to rooftop with his cross-dressing pal, abandoning glitzy homes and cars along the way, and stealing the identities of Boston lawyers to pay for it all, Steve Pelham (name changed to protect the guilty) led authorities on a dizzying chase in a high-stakes game…… …His face is not what you’d expect of a master con man, as authorities describe him. Thick eyebrows hang over two sad eyes, which project a polite, almost feminine deference that lowers your guard before he says a word…..His mother was an alcoholic who had screwdrivers for breakfast and hurled abuse over the dinner table, His stepfather the kind of man who would call you a fucking idiot if you fell and skinned your knee.” Sounds like a 007 movie? This was an excerpt from a Boston Magazine article printed in 2003, just two years before I moved into the big city.
I was introduced to this man by friends who had recently connected with him on facebook. He quickly became part of the larger circle of friends with his personality and worldly ways. Always dreaming big…was going to move into an expensive high rise and was taking all his friends to Europe. My friends were smitten…and I was too. He was funny, lovable…but my gut told me something wasn’t right. His stories didn’t quite gel. He was good at stretching the truth. And, told me stories that he didn’t want me to share with anyone else. RED FLAG! We were going to spend some time together..Buddy time..jogging. I think he cared for me as the good Mom he never had. He had stopped by my condo and I made him a plate of spaghetti and meatballs. When my friends and I discovered who he really was I kept saying “And I served him spaghetti and meatballs.” My credit card sitting on the table too. I thank God I did not become one of his victims. He was apprehended in a dramatic chase scene being surrounded by the feds in his “borrowed car.”
Actually, I had sent him an email to him saying I didn’t need people like him in my life after I found out he had been making up stories about going on a business trip when he was in Disneyworld. Something was just not computing. He ended up in a relationship with another man and taking his car, credit cards etc. They were planning to get married and have a family. I knew he wasn’t interested in having a family so that was a story I never believed. Sadly, I heard that his friend ended up in therapy from the shock of it all.
I tell you this story for one reason only. Be smart. Sometimes we just want to shake up the routine existence in our lives, or maybe we are lonely and having someone around who is fun or crazy seems better than being alone. It may cloud our judgement and lead us to compromise or settle for less than we normally would. Do not ignore the signals/red flags. Our bodies are programmed to let us know when something is not right. It’s called intuition. Be mindful.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Very interesting experience. I can see how you gained wisdom the hard way-thanks for sharing your wisdom!
Favorite post so far!!!!
Thought you might like this one:)!!!